The Gift of Being a Good Receiver

We usually talk about chesed in terms of giving – our time and energy, our resources. But there is another kind of chesed, which is knowing how to receive.

When someone gives us a gift, it’s part of building a relationship with us. Whether people put a great deal of thought and effort into it, or spent a pretty penny on it, or just offered a token to let us know that they thought of us and love us, that is something we need to learn how to properly receive. “Thank you” goes without saying. A step beyond that is taking the time to appreciate all the little details about it – the color, the design, the content, etc. Or just expressing some enthusiasm. My mother recently had a birthday. When she opens her gifts, her face lights up with genuine excitement, which is so gratifying! She really taught me how to receive.

Or other types of giving… Maybe someone gives us a compliment. To be able to take it in and appreciate it, not just dismiss it – that is also being a good receiver. Then there are times when we’re undergoing hardship, and people want to give. We don’t have to be 100% self-sufficient all the time. There’s a place for allowing other people the space to give. It doesn’t make us “weak” or “needy.” It’s part of life. Everyone gets to experience being a giver as well as a receiver. Yes, hopefully they will give in a way that we need (which is part of knowing how to be a good giver). As we know though, that’s not always the case. But we can still appreciate that they want to be there for us. We can treasure the relationship.

We’re coming up to the holiday of Shavuot, the time when we celebrate receiving the Torah. It’s another opportunity to apply the same ideas and focus on being good “receivers,” appreciating the gift of the Torah, noticing (learning about) its many details, getting excited about it, and making space for it in our lives.

Chag Shavuot sameach – have a happy Shavuot!